Where did last year go? I had just recently told myself I was going to do the blog bit again and i looked, my last entry was in football season!
Back on Atkins Induction right now with the Mr. SuperAwesome. I do think he is super awesome, and I’m glad we can do this thing together. This is going to be the year I get back to my high school weight and the year I quit peeing in my pants when I jump! Most immediately though, it will be the spring i run 2 more half marathons, and in 2 days, a 5 mile race. It will be the spring we camp more, we go to the dirt racing track and drag strip more, and the spring we spend more time making our yard beautiful. It will be the summer we spend more lazy days at the pool, more time tossing a baseball, and more time tending our gardens. This fall will be the year I send my 1st baby to high school, my actual baby to kindergarten, and all 4 of the “little kids” will be in school!!! Plus my stepson is getting married in November!!
Today I am anxious to get off of work. I do love my job, but i’m itching to get down on my treadmill for a few miles. I always feel up when I run, and though the sun has shined the last few days, it is not today. It is dreary & raining. A run will make me feel like the sun shined.
Liam has to have more dental work done Monday. Dustin has a basketball game on Sunday, which is going to require the parent split since Dorothy has Girl Scout cookie kickoff skating party. Thank goodness I keep a big giant whiteboard family calendar to keep it all straight.
I ordered a crapton of yarn today. I’m making these silly little decorative scarves that seem to be really popular. I don’t get them really, but everyone else i know totally digs them. Of course, I live in jeans, t-shirts & sweatshirts, so something decorative wouldn’t really work. I can totally see wearing one and one of the little kids grabbing it and choking me out MMA style, but none of the kids being able to call for help. I say that, but the truth is even the 21 month old here knows how to operate my iPhone better than I do.
Lots of things keep me from blogging. Life is busy, kids are busy, seasons change.
I made a decision earlier this year to quit trying to be perfect. I”m not perfect and the effort is exhausting. My kids are going to be okay even if I don’t make my own bread, cook everything from scratch, make our own laundry soap, grow organic tomatoes, capture every event in pictures, or knit every scarf we need. Knowing that I CAN do all those things is great, but it doesn’t make me who I am and those things cannot consume my life. For several years I had a silent competition going with online *friends* who I never met, that stage of life is over.
I’m trying hard to not get bogged down by my busy life, but to embrace it. McDonalds, KFC, Domino’s and Taco Bell cook for us more than I’d care for, but trying to cook dinner, get uniforms/practice gear together, and make it to our destinations on time is hard enough. Plus, if I were really on top of all this, I’d have no time to read, run or watch Glee!
It’s football season, cross country season, and racing season for myself. Basketball season is coming up, along with the Holiday season. In keeping with what I tell my kids, Go Big, or Go Home. We’ll keep on going Big right now.
It has been in the 70’s all week long, and we are taking this final opportunity to go camping with the kids. We bought a new to us hybrid bunkhouse! I already see major advantages. We parked it in the driveway, I loaded the fridge, the freezer and put our stuff in closets & drawers. No more suitcases, totes, or ice-ruined food. No more trampling over the tops of each other to move, no more bed-sharing, and wait for it….no more midnight runs to the potty house down the road!
I think I’m going to try to blog more often again. I used to really enjoy jotting down my thoughts, but somehow everything in the world became more important. Liam is in kindergarten, and the other day he brought home a picture and story that he made. It says “My Dad makes me happy.” He illustrated his story with a picture of himself smiling and Daddy reaching into *THE STASH* of candy to get Liam a piece. Liam is a serious candy addict. Maggie is working on the potty. I have been diapering a kid for 12 years, and I’m looking forward to not carrying a diaper in my purse sometime in the near future. Dustin is thriving socially, academically & athletically this year and it is so nice to see him. Yes, I wrote that correctly, he is gone a lot between practices, intramurals, and friends. Heck, this weekend we are going camping and he will not be joining us on the first night because it is his best friend’s birthday sleepover. Dorothy is as sweet as ever, though she is becoming increasinglly more and more concerned over her clothing and hair. She is alsoa a HUGE Justin Bieber fan, just the other night she told me when his birtday was. He was born in the year I graduated high school.
I know there are all of these moments, sayings, feelings and events that I say to myself, “I will always remember this,” but the older I get and the more of these things I add to the mental archive, the less sure I am that I will actually remember them all.
Dustin is full of knowledge. He is quick on his feet and always has a comment. Always. Even if there is something that doesn’t need said, he will say it. Several months ago I was reviewing the Angel Food menu and Dustin grabbed it and started reading, “Chicken breasts, ground beef, pork roast, frozen lasagna dinner…” I ask if everything sounds good. He says, “Yes, except this one thing.” I say, “What.” He says, “Chicken FU-GIII-TUHS.” I grab the menu to see what on earth he is saying because it sounds nasty. Chicken Fajitas. Delicious. I’d all but forgotten this until yesterday when he and I went to Aldi. I was grabbing some pepperocinis and in the same area was something Dustin had never heard of. “Ju-lop-noes.” He says it a couple of times and asks what they are. I say, “You put them on fajitas.” Only, I used his pronunciation for both fajita and jalapenos.
Dustin bit his lip. He said it was bleeding. I said, “Oh no, are you going to die?” He says, “I always do from this sort of thing.”
I thought it would be hard to part with certain baby items when they were no longer needed. My mom says I fail when it comes to the sentimental value of items, but that’s not true. There are some things that I will never part with. I don’t frequent diapering forums much anymore, but people used to save cloth diapers and put them in shadow boxes for display. I didn’t think I would ever do something that crazy, but there are definately diapers I had made for both Maggie and Liam that I wondered if I would part with when the time came. I wondered the same when acquired a much coveted Beco Butterfly carrier last year and though I can’t imagine why I would keep it around, I never pictured myself selling it.
Well, the time has come. I sold the carrier today to a nice girl named Amelia for her 10 month old baby. SHe and her husband are just getting started on having children and hope to have a few more. The carrier will work well for her and I was glad to have sold it to someone who really wanted one. The diapers are also for sale. I have several packaged and ready to go to the post office. It feels good. I don’t feel sad about selling our little baby items. The truth is, we can use the space for all of the toys, shoes and clothing that seem to be growing in volume by the day.
I can measure much of my life in seasons. Without elaborating in too much detail, the first season I remember in life is probably when I was 4, before my mom and dad divorced, the next season I remember is when I was in grade school and my siblings were my best friends, moving into adulthood there was the college season, then the season where I learned a bit about who I was in the Army, marriage, kids, divorce, remarriage, more kids. Seasons change and sometimes there isn’t really a defining moment, I just realize that something has changed and we have moved forward. Another season in life has recently passed and noticing Elmo on my Suburban DVD player brought it to my attention.
When we got the DVD player the movies were enjoyable for both Dorothy and Liam, poor Dustin has been shafted since the get-go. SpongeBob, Labryinth (yes, the cheese David Bowie muppets on heroin variety), and Nemo graced the screen so that the kids would ride in silence from point A to point B. Gradually Dorothy began to lose interest in the movies and they were specifically catered to Liam. If the DVD wasn’t on, Kidz Bop blasted from the speakers because Dustin, Dorothy and Liam liked to sing along. Maggie had no interest in the movies or the music, and everyone was happy.
Now that I think about it, I think the change was set in motion after a trip to visit friends when they loaned us a Baby Einstein video to help Maggie out on the ride home. It wasn’t immediate, Liam’s movies still took up most of the screen time, but since that point Maggie’s billing on the screen increased rapidly. Music has ended. Now, when we get in the car Maggie becomes anxious pointing at the drop-down screen, waving frantically and shouting *MELMO* until his little red body and irritating high pitched voice appears. Liam kind of watches, but Elmo is definately not his choice and he watches primarily when the batteries on his Leapster or Gameboy have died.
We have passed the season of “Anything to keep Liam happy” to the new season of “Anything to keep Maggie happy.” To an outsider, these may seem very much the same, but to me, there is so much more. My seasons of life have been dominated by babies and little bitty kids for a long time. The kids are becoming more independant every day. Dustin is growing into a young man and will turn 11 in March. Just a short time ago he was pushing a popcorn popper across the floor squealing in delight as he chased the dog, now he is trustworthy enough to leave home alone for a bit and asking for a cell phone. He had a girlfriend for a couple of days and the girls are starting to notice his big smile and deep dimples. I think that the next decade will be filled with the season of teenagers….